Song of the Silent Snow Page 11

  I wonder if we should go for a drive? The countryside will be lovely with the trees changing colors and the fall flowers blooming. Bet it would be beautiful in Connecticut, and we could stop at a nice restaurant and have dinner. Im sure Ethel would like that. Give her a chance to get out of the kitchen, and Suzie likes riding in the car—bouncing the Times against his hip as he walked—but the damn road will be packed with Sunday drivers and we would probably hit one traffic jam after another. No, I guess it would be better to just forget the whole thing and spend a nice quiet day at home. Actually Sunday is really a day to spend at home with the family, and he did not want to miss the Jets game, hoping Ethel would not say anything about being a football widow.

  When he got home his wife was just finishing the breakfast dishes. He put an arm around her waist as he kissed her on the cheek. Its a beautiful day.

  Yes, I know. I was out back for a few minutes before. Makes you feel like doing something or going somewhere.

  Yeah, I suppose it does, but what it really makes me want to do is sit in the sun with the Times and a beer. After all, I have to be well rested if Im going to do a good job at the office. He smiled at his wife and kissed her again, then put the paper on the table and took a can of beer out of the refrigerator. Wheres Suzie?

  In her room.

  O. Shes so quiet I thought maybe she was in the yard.

  No. Shes playing with her coloring book. Ethel dried her hands and hung up the towel. You know Harry, it might be a good idea if you took Suzie to the park later. Maybe while Im fixing dinner you can take her to the playground.

  Gee, I dont know honey. I was planning on taking it easy today. I put in a rough week and I have another one in front of me.

  I know, darling, but it would be nice if you could.

  Well, we’ll see what happens.

  He started to go out to the yard when Suzie came out of her room. We going to the park, daddy?

  Maybe later, sweetheart—patting her on the head.

  On the swings?

  We’ll see, honey. Maybe later. Right now daddy has something to do—still patting her on the head—maybe in a little while. Suzie looked up at him for a moment then went back to her room.

  Harry went out into the yard and moved his chair so it was in the sun and started reading the paper. Whether or not he took Suzie to the playground wasnt a matter of life or death. She did look a little disappointed, but it wasnt that important. And that damn Goodwin account. And anyway, its still early. He could always take her later, after he read at least part of the paper and relaxed for a while. There’d be time before dinner. Perhaps he should spend a little more time with her alone. He really didnt spend too much time with her and lately she was almost ready for bed by the time he got home. Of course that wasnt his fault, but still… when was the last time he took her to the park? Well, after all thats not really my responsibilty. Harry continued reading, vaguely aware of the sound of voices coming from the house.

  He glanced up at the sky from time to time and breathed deeply. He browsed through the «News of the Week in Review» section noting a few headlines, looking at all the political cartoons and reading their captions. Harry slowly leafed through the Theater Section and decided to save the Magazine and Book Review Section for after dinner, before the game. Keeping the Sports Section on his lap he put the remainder of the paper on the ground then stretched his legs and leaned back in his chair.

  The sun was warm on Harry Swansons face as it slowly rose higher in the sky, moving from his left to his right. He finished the beer and thought for a moment about getting another, but the idea gradually faded as he continued reading. When he finished reading about all the games he thumbed through the rest of the section, then let the paper slide from his hand and had one last cigarette before going back into the house.

  He plopped the paper on the couch and stretched his arms out over his head a few times while rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet. Man O man, what a beautiful day. Its really beautiful out Ethel, you should go out and enjoy it and do whatever youre doing later.

  I think I will, in just a few minutes, as soon as I get the roast started.

  Suzie still coloring?

  I dont know. I suppose so. Shes being quiet so Im not going to look at any gift horses.

  Harry smiled, I know what you mean. He put his hands in his pockets and rocked on the balls of his feet, I was thinking maybe I’d take her to the park before dinner. Itll be a couple of hours yet, wont it?

  Thats a good idea. Figure about 2:30, or maybe youd better make it 2 to be on the safe side.

  O.K. You want to get her ready?

  Suzie had learned how to skip and she tugged Harrys arms as she periodically started skipping. Harry asked her several times to stop, yanking her arm once to emphasize his request but she could not stop using her new toy so Harry eventually let go of her hand cautioning her not to cross the street without him. When they got to the park Suzie started running toward the playground, but Harry stopped her. Wait a minute honey, daddy wants to go over there for a few minutes first.

  A crowd of a few hundred people were watching a football game and Harry, holding Suzies hand, walked to the near side of the field and rapidly worked his way to the sideline, pushing Suzie in front of him. Between plays he questioned those around him until he learned the score and the quarter and how the game was going.

  Harry immediately became involved in the game and impatiently told Suzie to wait a minute, just a few more minutes, as she pulled at his arm. Swings daddy, I want the swings—and she wriggled and squirmed between the many sets of legs surrounding her as the crowd moved with the development of each play.

  Eventually Harry became aware of Suzies petulance and picked her up and held her so her head was on a level with his.

  There we are, honey. Is that better?

  My nose itches.

  Well rub it, honey.

  Can we go on the swings now?

  Just a few minutes and they’ll stop, then we’ll go. I promise. Harry continued to watch each play unfold, ooing and aaing with the crowd and, of course, quarterbacking; and Suzie continued to ask to go to the swings and squirm with boredom, and Harry growing more and more impatient with her insistence telling her to stop and stay still and squeezing her thigh a few times to emphasize his demand.

  When the half finally ended Harry wanted to talk to the others about the game, but Suzie wiggled around so much he knew it would be useless to try so he left the crowd of spectators and put Suzie down. O.K., o.k., we’ll go to the playground. You happy now? completely exasperated and frustrated. She trotted off, her mind empty of everything but the forthcoming pleasure of the swings, the sliding pond and the see-saw, Harry walking rapidly behind her, turning his head occasionally to look back at the football field.

  Suzie was hanging from a swing when Harry caught up with her. Now be careful. Youll hurt yourself doing that. He picked her up and put her in the swing and told her to hold on tightly to the safety bar across the front. He pushed the swing and Suzie kicked her legs with glee and at first Harry told her to stop kicking and to sit still, but after a few minutes of his daughters giggling, and the silence from the football field, he relaxed and continued pushing until Suzie suddenly announced, Sliding pond.

  He held his hands out ready to catch her as she climbed the steps one by one, then waited for her at the end of the slide, but she vigorously shook her head, no, and so he allowed her to slide down alone still standing ready as she climbed the steps once again and waited for her to come running back after she slid down. There seemed no end to the amount of laughter the sliding pond could evoke from her.

  Soon the noise from the football field made it obvious that the second half had started. Harry continued to watch his daughter as she climbed the ladder, but he was getting more and more fidgety. Then a loud cheering, and the movement of the crowd, indicated that someone had scored. It must have been a touchdown, the cheering had that kind of sound to it. Suzi
e was skipping her way back to the ladder when Harry picked her up and spun her around a few times and she giggled happily. When he put her down he knelt beside her, Did you have fun, sweetheart?

  Suzie nodded her head vigorously, Put me on the seesaw now, daddy.

  Im afraid we havent time, honey. We have to go home soon.

  We got time. Its not time to eat yet—sounding as if she actually knew dinner would not be ready for another hour or so.

  Well no, not exactly, but daddy wanted to watch the football game for a few minutes before we have to go home.

  O I dont like it. I dont wanna watch anymore—scrunching her face into a complete pout. We only been here a few minutes. I wanna stay here—her voice on the brink of a sob.

  Ah please, sweetheart. I’ll tell you what. I’ll carry you piggy back all the way. Hows that?

  We could stay here and you could carry me piggyback. You said we’d go to the playground. You said—lowering her head, still pouting, her voice even closer to tears.

  Look, I know what. How about a nice surprise after dinner? How about that?

  What sprize?

  O, I cant tell you that. Then it wont be a surprise.

  She looked up at him for a moment, still pouting, Honest? A sprize?

  Of course—feeling a blush warming his face—I wouldnt lie to my little girl.

  One more slide?

  O.K.—standing up and following her to the ladder. When she reached the bottom he knelt and his daughter climbed on Harrys back after he cautioned her to hold on tight to his neck, but not to choke him.

  He walked toward the field quickly, holding his daughters legs, then broke into a jogging lope as Suzie prodded him with a giddyup, she enjoying the breeze on her face as she put her cheek next to her daddys and relished not having to bend her head backwards to look up at people, even being able to look down at many.

  Harry swiftly worked his way back to his previous spot and found out that the score was now tied. He immediately became completely involved in the game as one team put the ball in play on their own 20 after a touchback, and the fullback picked up 12 quick yards on a draw play. After that the quarterback moved his team upfield by continually outthinking the defense with trap plays and slants off the tackles and guards, and a couple of short hook passes at just the right time.

  His daughter remained satisfied with the novelty of her position and her daddy moved around just enough to make it interesting. For a while. Then the novelty faded, just as the defense recovered a fumble inside their own 20—and just when they were really moving the ball too.

  I wanna go on the swings again, daddy—tapping him on the head with her hand.

  I told you, Suzie, not now—what a jerk. A few more plays and they wouldve been over.

  Suzie bounced up and down repeating, Please more—tugging at Harrys neck.

  Not now, and stop that. Youre hurting daddy—lets see what this other quarterback can do. If he can get them out—I said stop—turning to look at Suzie. Do you want me to put you down?

  No—still bouncing but no longer tugging at his neck—but I wanna go on the swings, you said—slowly pouting the words—I was hardly on them.

  A time out was called and Harry knelt and his daughter slid off his back and he held her hands as he spoke softly, but firmly, to her, his irritation growing. I told you if you are a good girl I would give you a surprise after dinner. We have to go home soon—glancing at his watch—and we dont have time to go back to the playground. Now be a good girl and dont bother daddy for few minutes and I’ll piggyback you home and youll get a nice surprise after dinner. O.K.?

  What sprize daddy?

  Youll see after dinner—time was back in—now climb on daddys back and be a good girl. Harry stood up with Suzie on his shoulders and decided he had enough time to watch at least the next series of downs before he had to start home, and perhaps more if this guy didnt move the team. His daughter hung on quietly for a few minutes then started jiggling up and down and then jabbering and asking questions, wanting to know what they were doing and why they ran after the boy and when they were going back to the swings… and Harry grunted a few answers while moving along the sidelines as the teams moved down the field, occasionally telling Suzie not to choke him, her whining increasing his irritation. Then Suzie started humming to herself and rocking her head back and forth as she jiggled up and down and Harry started getting angry and squeezed her leg and yelled at her to stop as she fell forward and banged her head on his and Suzie hung completely motionless for a second, stunned from the blow and Harrys voice, then started whimpering and Harry fought his anger and knelt and rubbed her head for a moment and told her not to cry. She was still whimpering slightly, asking to go back to the swings, when the quarterback threw a perfect strike to his running back and he went in for the score. Harry decided to go home as it was a little after 2.

  When they were out of the crowd he wiped Suzies face with his handkerchief, We dont want mommy to know we were crying now do we?

  We going home now, daddy?

  Yes, honey.

  Can we go on the swings first, huh?

  No.

  Please. I hardly didnt get to go.

  No, its too late—the sadness in her voice causing Harry to respond angrily—dinners ready now. He paused and took a deep breath, thinking how his wife would react to Suzies complaint. He smiled, But dont forget I promised you a piggyback ride all the way home. O.K.?

  And a sprize you said.

  Yes, I wont forget. Youll get a surprise. Now climb on and we’ll go home.

  Harry played horsie to his daughters giddyup and between that and an occasional tickle Suzie was laughing when they romped into the house.

  Well, its about time you two vagabonds got home—taking her daughter off Harrys back, kissing her before putting her down -a few more minutes and you would have had a catastrophe instead of a roast.

  Hmmmm, smells good. I guess we had better get washed. Come on honey, lets get our hands and face washed.

  Ethel set the table while they washed and by the time they came back into the kitchen it was filled with savory smells, the table set, and the roast waiting for Harry to carve.

  As Harry carved, Ethel put Suzie in her highchair and asked her to tell her all about the park. Were there other children there?

  Uhuh. We watched a game. I was on daddys back.

  A game? Didnt you go to the playground, Harry?

  Of course, of course. We just stopped for a minute on the way home to watch a football game. I dont even know who was playing.

  O Harry, you and football. Dont you get enough on t.v.?

  It was just for a minute—here give me your plate. Heres a nice center piece.

  And daddys giving me a sprize. What is this about a surprise?

  I thought we’d get some I-C-E C-R-E-A-M after dinner. You know -

  Cause I was a good girl at the game, wasnt I daddy? Thats a good girl—putting her dinner in front of her—Now you eat this all up.

  Whats the sprize daddy?

  Now I told you a dozen times, after dinner.

  Take it easy, Harry.

  Well, ever since I mentioned it shes been haunting me about it.

  Well, lets forget about it and enjoy our dinner.

  Ethel and Harry started eating their Sunday dinner, but Suzie just toyed with her food, I want my sprize.

  Now you listen to me, young lady -

  Harry. Dont lose your temper.

  But Ive been hearing this all day—Suzie had lowered her head and watched and listened -

  But getting yourself upset isnt going to do any good. Youll just ruin our dinner. Relax honey. I’ll take care of Suzie. Now you be a good little girl and eat your dinner. Ethel separated the food on Suzies plate into individual piles and told her to start eating.

  Suzie pouted, I was a good girl.

  Well, you just continue to be a good girl and eat.

  I want my sprize.

  You listen to mommy—gla
ncing at Harry, noticing his face redden—and eat. If you dont eat like a good girl youll not only get no surprise, but daddy wont take you to the park again. Now you wouldnt like that, would you?

  Suzie toyed with her food for a few minutes, then started whimpering very softly, a few tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. Ethel reached over with her napkin and wiped her face dry. Now you dont have to cry, honey, no one is yelling at you. I dont understand why you are so upset. We just want you to eat your dinner. Now stop crying for mommy. Ethel turned to Harry, What happened at the park, Harry, Ive never seen her in such a state? Harry glared at her, mouth jammed shut.

  Suzie continued to whimper softly and shook slightly with a sob. Good girl. I want my sprize.

  Harry slammed his fork down on the table and jerked himself up, Goddamn it! I’ll give you a surprise—reaching over to her plate, scooping up a handful of mashed potatoes with gravy and slapping it on her head—Heres your surprise! Ethel and Suzie just stared at Harry, their mouths open, potatoes and gravy slowly sliding down the sides of Suzies face, and then she started crying hysterically. Good! Good! Cry and get it over with! Ethel hugged Suzie as she continued to stare at the potatoes and gravy dripping from Harrys hand.

  A Little Respect

  Morris pushed the papers on his desk into piles, any old pile, and rushed to the elevators. He hated those last minute phone calls. He never could figure out why people waited until five to five to call. He rushed to the elevator, looking at his watch. He could still make the 5’20 if there were no more hangups. The first two elevators went right past his floor because they were filled and he groaned inwardly. He kept looking at his watch, but it didnt seem to do any good so he lit a cigarette and put it out when an elevator stopped and the doors opened. He squeezed himself in and the elevator went directly to the ground floor.

  He rushed to the subway and stood on the platform constantly looking at his watch complaining loudly to himself about the service, and what in the hells keeping the train, wishing he could light a cigarette. The more he looked at his watch the more convinced he became that he would miss the 5’20 and end up on the damn 5’30, the cattle car. Eventually the train came in and he pushed and was pushed into the car. He was jammed so close to the guy in front of him that the guys mustache kept tickling Morrises nose, and whoever it was behind him must have had spaghetti and meat balls for lunch with extra garlic. He wondered what time it was.